How to say NO: 4 ways of saying no at work without actually saying it.
“Your lack of planning does not constitute my emergency”. That became the motto of my team who were responsible for the successful implementation of many projects across a major bank many years ago. Time and time again we were on the receiving end of poor planning, time management and communication of others and expected to magic time out of the air.
When you are a “safe pair of hands”, the “go to person to get things done” then guess what? People will just keep coming to you to get stuff done when someone else has dropped the ball. Its initially satisfying to be the person who has a good reputation of getting sh*t done but when you end up overloaded and observing others who aren’t, then you have to question whether you have the right tactic. You are not junior anymore, maybe you can make wiser choices about what you say yes to a bit more often?
If you were a business with a choice of directions you would analyse these, come up with your cost/ benefit case and would want to know that you are getting a return on your investment.
Think of your time and energy as your investment - are you investing it wisely?
For women I find that the inability to say “no” is particularly heightened in the workplace. As at home women are prone to absorbing more responsibilities by osmosis. In fact research has shown that women are way more likely than men to turn down work which is not actually part of their role. This was put down to women typically being regarded as nurturers and helpers, so saying ‘no’ runs against the grain of what might be expected of them. Women also fear they will be branded “bolshy” and not a team player if they turn down work and worried that it will impact their promotion prospects.
So, how do you politely turn away work which does not have a great ROI for your career, your health or even your sanity?
Clearly a flat out “no” is not the smartest idea, so here are four simple formulas to say no next time someone comes knocking at your door:
“That sounds great but I don’t feel qualified to do that/ I don’t feel I have the appropriate experience or training. I would suggest (Bob) is better equipped than I am”.
“Yes I can see that this is important. I don’t have the bandwidth to do it right now but I could oversee (Bob) doing it, I think it would be great for his development also”
“I would love to help. I am chocka with x, y, z at the moment. I would not be able to get to that for another week/ month/ x months. Are you able to wait that long?”
“I can see that this is really important however at the moment I am compromised as I have x,y,z to deliver. Can we sit down and review and re-prioritise my workload so I can make sure I am giving you what you need most?”
Clearly if it is just before a big promotion/ the week before bonus round/ a time where everyone is under real stress and swamped then it may not be the best timing! Suddenly saying “no” to everything may also indicate that you have frankly lost the plot!! So time it wisely but I urge you to exercise the “no” muscle more often. It may be uncomfortable at first but as with everything - the more you do it, the easier it becomes of course.
So here is your challenge - take 10 minutes to look at your to do list and your calendar and see what is in there that if you had considered your ROI more carefully you would have turned down. Then next week spot that one thing that you know you should turn down and try and use one of our push back phrases.
Good luck and stay sane!
