Our top 5 “new normal” family commitments

So I decided that I really did not want us as a family to lose the things that we learned in lockdown. It just seems a bit stupid to have gone through that experience together and not have consciously made some changes - doesn’t have to be ground breaking and as with all things parenting I am keen that it doesn’t become another competition. So no, I don’t feel the need to declare that we have now decided that we will build an eco friendly house and live sustainably off the land while homeschooling forever more. However there are tweaks we will make and commit to publicly here so you can hold me accountable!

So, here goes the top 5 family commitments we are making - unsurprisingly they relate to the the most important things to us, starting with food!

FOOD

My mother was a “war baby” and 1 of 9 kids so rationing was paramount. Everything in our childhood fridge was a “BOGOF’ special, biscuits were rationed and we baked enough to feed an army for school lunch boxes once a month. I turned into my mother in lockdown - shit!! We ate long lost chickpeas from the back of the cupboard and concocted something edible from whatever was in the freezer. We definitely spent less, wasted less and cooked more together.  But no, I was in no way tempted to bake sourdough. Anyone with young family did not need bloody bread which also needed feeding and watering for god’s sake!

My post lockdown promise: to cook at least 2 meals a week with my daughter, not just for her.

SPORT AND ACTIVITIES

So as we crashed into lockdown swim lessons came to a halt, as did surf life saving, tennis lessons and netball and touch rugby never got off the ground.  Instead of being up and out of the door early on weekends we lounged around playing board games, building dens, baking and generally chatting more. Wow!

I know I am not alone in being apprehensive to go back to so many scheduled activities and I don’t have 4 kids to be a never ending taxi service to!

My post lockdown promise: Keep one day of the weekend unscheduled - no sports, not even scheduled playdates. Just time to go with the flow., see what happens and get out of our pjs when we feel like it.

DEVICES

Given my job was to lead a team that keeps people safe on the internet and to mop up the damage when they are not, this could be my Mastermind specialist subject! But I certainly will not bore you with everything that has taught me here! Suffice to say many parents felt that device time crept up during lockdown as we did whatever it took to work and homeschool and all stay sane!! And hey - whatever it takes was the right approach!

Devices and what your child does on the internet is a family decision and not one that anyone has the right to sit in judgement on (strange that a bit like breastfeeding it does attract a lot of it though!!). 

One line summary though: its not how long kids are devices, it is what they are doing on them that is important. We are fairly conservative on the time my daughter spends online but during lockdown she spent hours looking at science experiments and researching geography online and with the rollout of Messenger for kids she connected with family around the world. Online is not inherently bad.

If you are finding however that you want the kids off the devices more than I have put a good few links in the resources page.

My post lockdown promise: Continue to allow my daughter to have half an hour a day on Messenger kids/ other apps where she connects with family (after homework!)

SCHOOLING

One thing I really struggled with as a working mum was really knowing how my child was doing at school. Despite going to parents evenings and getting reports I still found a lot of it incomprehensible and I was not alone, many parents at our school felt the same. Yes I would have loved to be the kind of mum who sat and did homework in the evening but a) we never got any, b) I never had time to source it myself and c) by the time i picked up from after school care it was dinner, story, bed and no time for much else!

I must confess during lockdown i got far closer to truly understanding what my kid could and couldn’t do and what her school was setting her. In full honesty mode - I wasn’t terribly impressed and I was not by any stretch of the imagination a high expectation, high maintenance parent.  But at least I knew my fears were not unfounded.

My post lockdown promise: This is a biggie - I am looking at new schools ! Oh cr@p

MONEY

Its a frequent topic of conversation among friends - how do you raise kids who have access to a lot, not to be entitled and to understand the value of money? We had already introduced chores and pocket money in our household and yes I have given the occasional morning sermon about kids in Africa when facing opposition to a bowl of Weetbix!!

But as families face loss of income or restricted incomes in the Covid recession how much of that do we pass on to kids? While none of us would want to transfer money worries onto our kids, I personally do not see the harm in kids learning the value of money and how it influences decision making and the lives we lead. From a young age my parents opened a savings account that we would put birthday money from relatives in and I am very grateful for getting those lessons young.

All of us seem to have saved money during lockdown - no dinners and brunches out, takeaway coffees, shopping even! So it is a good time to look at family budgets for all of us - adults and kids alike.

My post lockdown promise: My daughter was brilliant at taking on more chores during lockdown which we plan to continue but I also need to be a but more consistent with her pocket money! So I will get that digital piggy bank that I ordered 2 years ago and start using it properly!!!

PS I have included some links to useful resources on kids and money again on the main “What now for family” page.

SO THERE YOU HAVE IT: 5 family commitments we have made coming out of lockdown

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Good luck and stay sane!

Helen xx