3 tips for a successful return to work after time off

2019 was my worst year at work ever! The death of my father, managing the unprecedented online aftermath of terrorist attacks, covering the work of another who was on stress leave for 6 months (he thought he was stressed?!?!), juggling monthly international work trips as a solo mum, being hauled over coals in the Human Rights Review Tribunal - all on top of my own busy operations team to manage -  honestly I was BURNT OUT.

Now I tell you this not for sympathy at all but for context. I could have kept going to the bottom of the page of “all the sh*t that went on in 2019” if i wanted to but i won’t. Wallowing serves no purpose! The key point is, I look at it all now in black and white and I can see that it was too much and that the messages i had been giving my boss were going unheard.

So I took 3 weeks off work at short notice. It was tough to do when the workload was still sky high but it was what I really needed right then and it's the best thing I ever did.

But it was only the best thing i ever did because I LEARNED FROM IT and I CHANGED THE WAY I DO THINGS.

As that great philosopher Drew Barrymore once said, 

“If you’re going to go through hell… I suggest you come back learning something”

So here is what i learnt, 3 key things which i would really like you to consider if you are approaching burnout or if for any reason - furlough, maternity or sanity - you have been away from work for a while:

1. You think you have to prove yourself but you don’t

Read that again please: You don’t have to prove yourself!

It is easy to feel like you have to make up for lost time, that you “let your co-workers down”, that all eyes are on you or even maybe you feel threatened by someone else knocking you off your pedestal while you left it temporarily vacant?

Well, don't. I bet you have an amazing track record going back decades which has put you where you are and built the reputation that you have. That is not erased in a matter of weeks.

Equally you cannot possibly make up for the work that you missed overnight. Remember this - life's a marathon, not a sprint. Do not burn yourself out by working extra long hours, going that extra mile or letting perfectionism reign. Your co-workers need you there for the long haul in all your stress free glory; your family needs their mum at home in her stress free glory; we friends want you in your stress free glory!!

2. Have an honest conversation with your boss

Now I am guessing that you have a very heavy workload? That you find yourself going over and above often? That you are pulled into a million and one directions because you are the “go - to” person? That there are just not enough hours in the day for all the things in your Inbox?

Now is the time to have that honest conversation with your boss. I know it feels like a tough time to do that. The insecurity of current or pending job losses makes you feel like you have to “suck it up”. But I refer you back to point number 1, your Honour! 

I know as a people manager over many decades that for the people I valued I would try and make anything happen.  Would working from home some days save your commute time? Is there a project which you really don’t have time for and you think should be de-prioritised? Do you need more resources supporting you? Now is the time to ask yourself these questions. Then ask the boss.

If it is not received well, then you have to ask yourself whether your employer has your back, values you for you and if it's where you want to invest 40 - 50 hours of your week……...and that is the honest truth.

3. Take a look at your habits - are there some bad ones that need ditching?

So, we have looked at what your boss can do for you. Now what are you going to do for you?

No-one is perfect, not even the “zen masters” who preach their perfect habits through social media at us - you know how people show up on social media, I bet they too get their take out for a Netflix binge but never post that!

But I also bet that you have some bad work habits that need challenging. Mine was logging onto my email at 5.30am and sending a bunch. Why was I doing it? Yes I had loads of work and it made me feel like I got ahead of the day. Really if i am honest though i felt guilty that i didn't get into the office until 9.15am after school drop off so i showed my colleagues how valuable and conscientious i was being online at 5.30am. Believe me no one ever who has worked with me has questioned my value, work ethic or conscientiousness. (How hard a word is that to spell?!?). In all honesty the only person I was proving myself to was me - no one else questioned it.

Now i do not pick up my phone for the first hour of my day, part of the morning routine i am passionate about. My whole day starts off way better and then tends to run better.

As you start back at work now is the time to rethink what you can do differently and better going forward. Take a good look at the things you know are not good for you and tackle that bad habit, just one at a time. Please do find one though. It will make such a difference.

So please, do me and you a favour: take a little bit of quiet time to digest these 3 things and figure out your own game plan. It will be worth it.

If you have found this helpful then please share with other awesome and stretched working mums you know could benefit to help them stay sane. Let’s stick together :)

Take care and stay sane!